What are you doing this evening?

- Girl, what are you doing this evening?

- Well, let me think… By the way evening – what o’clock exactly?

- Well. Perhaps since 7 p.m.

- Evening will meet me in public transport. There I will be standing and looking unfriendly to fellow travelers. And not because I’m misanthrope, but because I’m tired from work, and they all push each other and crowd and no one give place to me. Then I will arrive home, then will sit 10 minutes and run to kitchen to cook a dinner. Dinner I will eat in silence, watching aside TV. Then I will just watch TV. And there, by the way, they show a crap, but I have nothing to read. I would like to buy a book, but always have no time. That is why I will watch TV. Then I will decide that feel too lazy for washing the dishes and throw it into sink till the morning. It is like I will wash it all in the morning. Deception! I lie to myself. I will not wash it in the morning. Because I will get up too late, and will feel too lazy. It is so. Then I will take a shower, go to bed and will toss and turn on the one place, and will think about, how bad it is to live alone, will curse silently the neighbors, which make noise and don’t let me sleep.
Then I will fall asleep. That is all, what I do this evening.



- Ha-ha!! I’m going this evening to one nice restaurant with excellent cooker. My friends invited me there. By the way, they pay for everything, what is really pleasant. Then we are going to the one club, with comfortable soft sofas, you surely might hear about this place – it is the most fashionable in our city now. There we will sit on the sofas, will listen Jazz and drink wine. Then, probably we will play billiard. Then, perhaps will go home. At home I will take a shower and will go to bed.

- Alone?

- Why would I be alone? I live with my girlfriend. I love her like a crazy. She just can’t come with us today.

- Ah Okay. She can’t go with you, and you invite me? And you said you love her?!

- You entangled something. I don’t invite you anywhere.

- But how… and what about restaurant, Jazz, billiard?

- I go there. I’m! And in which connection are you here? You go home. Watch TV. We just tell each other about our plans for this evening. We just talked. Isn’t it cool?

- What a swine you are! Just swine!

- You are not adequate! Weirdo, goodbye!



This evening he has sit in his ambiguous family pants and chewed fast-cooked macaroni, watching aside TV from time to time. He had remembered how funny he let down that unknown girl and he thought that living alone is safer then with somebody.

She in her the most beautiful dress has drunk a wine in a fashionable club, listened jazz and whispered:

- Where is that bastard? I want see his face, but he is not here. Twice he is a bastard! Spoiled such an evening!

Thank you for taking off my pink glasses

I suspected of availability too much attention to a woman in eastern country. That seemed to me fun character, peculiar properties of simple people in there. I lived several months in Turkish quarter of Frankfurt-am-Main, there lived not only Turks but Arabs as well, and probably because all emigrant feel sympathy of each other among often aggressive locals, I liked contact them more then Germans. They were friendlier, easy-going, ready to help, and more close to me by way of artfulness, playfulness, and their not-so-easy open-heartedness, so common for Russians, what goes to our Asian part of roots.
I adored oriental culture, religion, food, music, and dance. Most of my impressions were formed by Mirzakarim Norbekov ideas, old nice naive soviet’s movies, relations with our local Muslims, dance-teachers from Egypt and Lebanon, which lessons I have luck to visit in Kiev and visiting all cultural oriental-related events in here. Their immateriality, spirituality attracted me so much, each of them easily quotes the whole Koran. It was so uncommon, comparing with our totally atheistic society. Respectable, virtue, modest veiled women, responsible, never drinking, mighty men, hospitable, kindly, hearty families – they seemed just paradise society. Religious extremism was not so valuable argument against my blind adoration of traditions, any family has a freak (Russian proverb) and each finger is different (usually heard this proverb from Orientals).
But the fact I read recently turned inside out all my perception of things.
On October 23rd and 24th, after Ramadan finished, in the down town of Cairo crowd of men used sexual violence to women, who were unlucky to be on the streets those days. As I got, there were no difference, were they veiled or not, were they old or young, alone or with children\husbands\relatives. Just monstrous fact, men started suddenly group assault to any female in a radius of their view. And what is more terrible, that some part of society seriously assumes the victims were guilty. THEY JUSTIFY AND EVEN EXCUSE THOSE MALE PERVERTED ANIMALS.
Such accident could happen in European country, in war times, with hungry enemy soldiers, though they won't get away with this. But in calm time, after great religious fast, when people should be the most inspired, the most clean, in the greatest cultural Arabic center!
Each society has its own moral values, which changes with time. There is no sense for outsider to judge, using his/her values. But the lows of nature is the same for any society, any creature has its own right for safety, for life. Unnatural violence used to giving life, defenseless, godlike woman reflects great depths of naughtiness, perversity of system there.
I come to conclusion - religious doesn’t mean spiritual. I still not sure if dogmas and restrictions are good or bad. If they canceled, probably people would get back to their worst animal instincts and rivers of blood wash up their lands.
On the other hand if they stick to hard and fast rules their hot blood, exertion accumulates and run out in those awful events.
It impressed me so much, because it could happen with me. I was going to Cairo in November, on the dance fast. I dreamed so long about this trip, prepared suitable close and veils, which I thought will protect me from immodest looks and nobody will know I’m foreigner. I thought I could walk alone or in our girls’ troupe arrangement, and visit all those places I planned. Now I see what a crazy idea it was, and thanks God last moment I decided not to go. How sadly it is to let go illusion which I loved so much!

Proofing tools

Моя сестра открыла для себя мир Интернета в частности, электронную почту. Начали мы переписываться, а сестра-то не простая, а преподаватель искусства и культуры в элитном киевском колледже. После пары моих «превед» писем, щедро пересыпанных рунетовским и айти жаргоном, не обремененные грамотностью (ну не учили мы русский в школе!) сестричка расстроилась и приказала русский подтянуть.
Я задумалась, как технарю выкрутиться, google помучала и решила поставить Proofing Tools для моего Word 2003. У нас на фирме Office у всех английский, лицензионный, проверки русской грамматики нет. Полная установка включает в себя 50 языков, и помимо проверки грамматики дает дельные советы по стилистике.

Так, напечатала в Word слово "треплюсь".
Proofing tools выдал забавное:

Слово с ярко выраженной экспрессивной (негативной, иронической) окраской. Если вы допускаете экспрессивные выражения в Вашем тексте, отключите эту опцию.

Аж стыдно стало, что я допускаю такие ужасные экспрессивные выражения. Ужоснах.
Кстати, на «Аж» proofing tools мне возразил следующее:

Просторечное выражение, не свойственное литературной речи. Если вы допускаете просторечные выражения (например, для создания специального эффекта), отключите эту опцию.

Впредь буду поосторожнее, и любые отправляемые тексты прогоню через самую строгую проверку.

«поосторожнее» - В предложении использована разговорная форма!

С таким помощником, я смогу переписываться даже со своей тетей, журналистом и переводчиком!
Правда, говорят, журналисты больше уважают ОРФО. Это расширенная версия Proofing tools, создана разработчиками встроенной в Word проверки грамматики. ОРФО умеет даже подбирать синонимы, удачные компоновки и способно значительно приукрасить текст.
Теперь я понимаю, почему так часто читаю всякую ерунду на korrespondent.net и lenta.ru.

Неприличная сальса

Сижу себе как-то на работе, женский форум почитываю, с другом по МСН болтаю, напряженный пятничный рабочий день. Как вдруг подходит ко мне белокурый ангел, Валечка из соседнего отдела, и усаживается на стол. Есть у нее такая очаровательная манера.
Я хмурю брови, потревожили, мол, в разгар активной деятельности. Валю это ничуть не смущает, ее вообще смутить трудно, а особенно когда к ней приходят в голову идеи. Валя собирается пойти на Сальсу сегодня вечером, и ей нужен компаньон, никто из ее многочисленных кавалеров не согласился, и значит, с ней непременно сегодня должна пойти именно я.
Вспоминая, что я когда-либо слышала о Сальсе, я пытаюсь доказать нецелесообразность этого мероприятия. Я ей рассказала, что для Сальсы нужен партнер мужчина, а их всегда на занятиях на всех не хватает. Что все эти латиноамериканские танцы совершенно не приличны. Что нужно учить классику, благородные бальные, стандарт. Что это дорого, так как модно, но уровень преподавание невысок, потому что это чуждая нам культура, и лучше бы она пошла на украинские народные танцы, где партнер не нужен и дешево.
Выслушав мою пламенную тираду, Валюша сказала, что первое занятие для меня оплатит сама, я буду ее партнером, и на новогодней корпоративной вечеринке мы будем зажигать, и чтобы я не вздумала слинять куда-то вечером, так как занятие сегодня в 18.30.
До конца рабочего дня я проштудировала всю информацию о клубе, в который мы направлялись, и конечно же о Сальсе, так что я уже чувствовала себя знатоком, но идея по-прежнему меня не привлекала.
Расписание на сайте Cubanoboom не обновлялось, видимо со времен второй мировой, мы попали в самую старшую группу, конечно, не танцевали, но нам позволили посмотреть.
Я читала до этого, что Сальса очень откровенный танец. Но чтоб настолько! Публика клуба состояла в основном из офисных служащих, как и мы с подружкой. Все переодевались в одном зале. Знойный Эрнесто ходил возле женской половины и отпускал милые шуточки типа – попа крепкий как орех, так и просится на грех.
Солидные дяденьки в галстуках и тетеньки в брючных костюмах за 5-10 минут преобразились в знойных танцоров, началось занятие. Эрнесто ходил между парочками, воровал партнерш, игриво похлопывая их по разным местам, создавая самую непринужденную обстановку в зале, демонстрируя что такое истинная Latino del'Amore. Движения и музыка на грани, совсем не двузначны. Страсть, агрессия, полная свобода тела и сознания. Партнеры совершенно не стеснялись близких объятий, прикосновений, хотя были едва знакомы. Наверное, посещение клуба дает им неплохую разрядку после рабочего дня, вносит яркость в быт и семейные отношения.
Моя Валя сникла, забеспокоилась, и засомневалась, что у нее так никогда не получиться. Начинающим танцорам никогда нельзя показывать владение искусством во всей красе, сложные элементы, в начале их обучения, это мало кого вдохновляет, и почти всегда порождает комплексы и отбивает желание учиться. Но я злорадно настояла на том, чтобы дождаться занятия младшей группы, и поучаствовать в безобразии, раз мы уже сюда пришли.
Эрнесто Валя пришлась по вкусу, он одаривал ее щедрым вниманием и показывал персонально все элементы, девушка была пунцовая и кажется, думала не о танцах, а о том, как сбежать оттуда, я мстительно хихикала рядом.
Впечатление о клубе осталось двойственное, с одной стороны – свобода и раскрепощение, с другой стороны - пошлость и вульгарность. Придется сходить еще на одно занятие, чтобы разобраться до конца. И уж теперь-то Вале от меня не отвертеться.

Harassment in our way...

- Good day. Do You know?
- What?
- You have an attractive smile.
- And what?
- No, nothing, just: You have an attractive smile, that is all!
- Don’t make my head spin! What did you want?
- I wanted nothing! You have an attractive smile, and I wanted to tell You about it.
- And what now? Do you want to spend the night with me?
- God forbid! I mean, I didn’t want to say it.
- And what did you want to say?
- I wanted to say… Ugh you, shit!
- Who - me?!
- Oh, not You! In general, Your smile seemed to me attractive, and I decided…
- Oh, you decided! And what I decided is not important anymore?
- Hey listen…
- I don’t want listen anything. I go, nobody disturbing, and suddenly some freak comes to me and starts sexual harassment!
- I didn’t harass anybody!
- Ah, he even didn’t harass! They are not real men nowadays, but are snots in trousers.
- Listen, you!…
- Oho! What starts!
- Nothing starts! Everything is finished!
- What - finished?
- Go to hell! Silly woman!!!
- Me!? Wait, but what did You, essentially, want?
- To touch your ass!
- Mine?!
- No, mine!
- Well, ok: so why do You start roughly speaking from the beginning?
- Is it possible with you in other way?!! With such an idiot!
- Wait, wait: do You want to take a closer look at me?!
- I wanted, bitch?!
- And now - what?
- Now – I don’t want!
- And why – don’t want?
- Because you are - dull!
- And is it all?!! Really, don’t we meet each other because of these mere trifles?
- No!
- Can we?…
- Well, I don’t know.
- Let try, nevertheless!
- Well, okay. So what I have to say?
- Something pleasant.
- Okay, I will try: Do you know, that You have an attractive smile!
- And what?…

As good as before and even better

Once Eva came to God and said: "Listen, I am so bored and lonely in the Eden, all the time eat Apples, play with animals, and every day the same, do something, please".

God answered: "Okay, I can suggest you one variant, but you have to decide if you need it or not. I can create a Man, but he will be selfish and self-satisfied. He will always debate with you and convince you of his mind. He will fight and struggle, but you will have to accept it. All problems and conflicts you will have to resolve by yourself, but present it to the Man in way, He would sure the decisions were His own".

Eva answered: "Yes, I agree".

God: "And one more condition: never tell him, that you were created first, well… it is…. between us, girls……."

Plain truth, women are more peaceful, more loving. They don’t care about politics and wars, if they normal, not feministic, they let off men play these games (if they don’t care about those men). Who tried once feeling a life inside own self, will never even think about fighting or killing. They live not by logic, but by their feelings, by their pure belief, what makes me think, that women have been always closer to God. But, as it is no good without evil, so there are no women without men.

Who would tempt us if not a man? Who would turn our calm silent peace inside out? Who would steal our hearts and finally would say: “O, we were nice friends, aren’t we?” Whom we would help to be a little wiser?

Despite everything, it must be admitted that our women’s life would be gray and useless without you, dear men.

Canadian soldiers were not able “smoke out" talibs from the hemp jungle

Military personnel from Canada, belligerent with talibs in Afghanistan, suddenly met a powerful enemy - almost impassable wilds of hemp higher then 3 meters.

General Rick Hillier, leader of the Canadian military forces, told, that militants of "Taliban" movement have used hemp bush as a cover. As a result soldiers were not able to catch them.
According to general, it is very difficult to drive through hemp thicket by armored troop, as this plant swallows up energy and warms up very quickly.

"We have tried burn down it by phosphorus – it didn’t work. We have tried burn down it by diesel oil – it didn’t work. Plants contain a lot of water, so we simply couldn’t burn it down", - said Hillier.

However even successful hemp burning in turned out into unpleasant consequences. "Several plants on the edge of this wild actually took a fire. But the soldiers, blown on by wind from burning area, have got fatal consequences, and they decided, that it is not good way", - reported Hillier.

Later one soldier said to general: "Sir, for three years, since I have joined Army, I would never think, that I would say "This damned hemp".

After reading this news I got lot of questions. What hemp smoked the author of article? Was it Afghanian hemp/Russian or probably Hollandian? I would like to try it also… What smoked the general is clear. If the grass contains too much water dry it up, and then burn. Or call for the students from the near north regions, they would gather a harvest for free. Do the Canadian soldiers know that if drive through the hemp field by tank and gather fat grasses pollen, it is possible to smoke through the barrel at the same time! Love and piece to you, Canadian brothers, instead of tanks and Kalashnikov! Respect to Talibans-Rastamans.

Anesthetization manual

If somebody gave you a pain, if this pain tears to pieces your heart, life seems not joyful anymore and you are so upset you could cry, try the way out of painful situation.

Ask yourself, who is guilty? At the first place, do not seek for the guilty person. You are the only one, who is responsible for your feelings and your perception of things around you, so the guilty one for your pain is only you, everything around is the only reflection. Do you feel offended? It should be very clear, that nobody wanted offend you expressly, if you feel offence that means you got known some truth about yourself not so pleasant, as you expected. If it wasn’t truth, why did it touch you then? You are guilty, forgive yourself, be grateful to a person, who said truth about you. It happens so rare.

Ask yourself, why things were so painful? Probably you expected something, what you couldn’t expect? Fake expectations are able to turn our life into hell. Never expect anything from somebody, just be grateful if somebody gives you something, and take it as a sudden gift. Open your eyes, nobody owes you anything. And if you opened some (seeming to you important) secret of your heart to somebody, do not expect it is interesting or also important for that person. It is your gift for that person, disinterested, but unfortunately useless, let it off easily, your heart very big, loving and understanding.

Ask yourself what impressed you so much that you lost control and allowed sorrow and regrets poison your soul? You always knew everything will finish some day, and were even wondered why it didn’t finish earlier, everything is predetermined, and you can’t deceive the fate. You can’t fly if you have no wings, you can’t change unchangeable things. You can’t change yourself in a one moment and cross out the things you believed and gained through your own life experience, through the history of your nation, trough the experience of your family. Never try change anybody, never give advises if you are not asked. Do not try convincing somebody of something, if that somebody doesn’t want be convinced, doesn’t want listen, provoke you jumping to personality. And especially if a person is master of debating, and you have just experience, feelings and very poor objections, not mentioning your poor language, which makes disability to get simple arguments of opponent.

Ask yourself, what you got from this situation? Everything what happens is for better. Everything what doesn’t kill you make you stronger. Be grateful for all nice you have got. Be grateful for every great moment you had, quantity of joy, fun and nice bright feelings you had is much more valuable then your sudden sadness now. Be grateful for all things you were inspired by dear person, for beatifying and coloring your bore endless gray days, for good changes that happened with you as a result of your connection.

You answered honestly to all questions above, and blooding pain changed into calm, silent melancholy, your soul set free from bad feelings and the only love, gratitude, tenderness remained there. You discovered with pleasure that still able be carried away so madly, still believe any dream can come true, still romantic and dreamy and still hoping...

Hall of fame

A Colombian writer Fernando Gaitán created a personage of Betty, clever, ugly secretary who wins her chief over. Probably he couldn’t even imagine that she will become a universal icon of worship. The film was retranslated in about 70 countries, translated to 20 languages. A lot of countries made their own clone. I bet popularity of Pushkareva in Russia exceed the bondwoman Izaura. Runet is full of anecdotes about national ugly:

- Harry Potter was raped!
- What the F***...
- Aha, maniac considered he is Katya Pushkareva...

More often we can meet in metro girls, very similar to Pushkareva. Young men started to complain about their girlfriends stopped care about them selves and work for being similar to ugly Katya.
Briquette and glasses become the symbol of exceptional intellect and index of personality all-sufficient of its owner. Feel sorry for men, who accept such a sex-symbol.
I am not too much superstitious, but afraid watching any version of this serial may lead to rising of cramp-iron on the teeth, people be careful!

Hot personages	Their boring real appearance
Katya Pushkareva, Russia	Nelly Uvarova
Betty Suarez, USA	Amerika Ferrara
Beatrice Pynson Solano, Columbia	Ana Maria Orosko
Lisa Plenske, Germany	Alexandra Nedel
Djassy Valia, Indiya	Mona Syngh
Leticia Padilya Solis, Mexica	Angelika Vale

The faces

The russian police booklet of ussr time for determining the nationality.

According to this pic seems like Lenin was Tatar. Hebrew just really bright type, typical Odessite. Georgian is not like they usually, missed a cap :))

If you break the chain, you will loose 200 $ this evening

Chains annoy me very much as well as people distributing them, but they say I would have a great luck if I support it, so 15 the most likeable things:

• • To wake up without alarm, knowing that I have not to run and hurry up anywhere, but lie slugging a bed as long as I enjoy it.
• • Taking a shower, worm or relaxing hot. Watch the water flows on a skin, sing a song there. Froth bubbles, play with foam, do any water procedures. Bathroom is my favorite place in the house, after bedroom.
• • Red caviar. It is taste of luxuriance, hope for better life. A reminder of deficit time, when tins of treasures were hidden from us (children) till the New Year dinner. I buy it with every salary. The greatest stylishly is to eat it by table-spoon.
• • The New Year pre-holiday rush. Smell of oranges and needles, old-fashioned Stalin’s times toys, expectation of miracles, playing the snow balls.
• • Compliments. Especially from men, specially the deserved ones. I’m a sucker for flattery. Compliments concerning mind, virtue, personality, sense of humor are more preferable then those about appearance.
• • Dancing. It is way of expressing emotions and feelings without words, lively reflection of music, uneasy but very lovable art.
• • Performance. I wonder at people, who like extreme sport, it is so dangerous, let they better try half-naked public dance on scene once. A spike of adrenalin equal to banjo-jumping is guaranteed.
• • Long strolling about the forest with a constant friend. Picking mushrooms and berries, and listening the sounds of nature.
• • Sitting with friends around the fire in the night, on the river bank. Cooking shashliks, about-life-talking, listening tales and guitar songs.
• • Treating to lovable persons. Caring for their satisfaction and fine mood makes me really happy.
• • Grand-pa and ma memories about war. They married a month before the war, 19 y.o. librarian and 24 y.o. junior lieutenant and military doctor. Their life story will remain for me always an example of bravery, honor and truly love.
• • Jewelry. Furs. Italian fashioned leather. Silk and lace.
• • Strategic games, cards, sport games, any king of games.
• • To make fun of something. More often it is ironic and sarcastic smiling.
• • To look at the mirror. Mirrors hypnotize me, what is quite dangerous, when I drive a car. I’m thinking about gluing a little mirror on a wheel, so that I can see myself and drive at the same time.