Too small

Just now I returned from bazaar and brought with vegetables a little fun.
I needed several multicolored peppers for soup and there were only small scary green ones. I asked crossly a sales man, why his peppers so tiny and scary. He didn’t become mad and reply with wide smile that I shall not worry and can buy them anyways, because they will grow definitely.

Being stressed and sad a lot last days I giggled all way long to home. God bless joyful people with sense of humor, they make life brighter!

* * *

Drummer will play the buka
I will dance his beats
Oh, mama, I’m in love with drummer!

A rich man hunts on me
But poor musician is in my head
Oh, mama, I’m dieing of love to drummer!

His hands are so strong
My body drums every beat
Oh, mama, I love the drummer!

The rich man will suffer
But I will keep on singing:
Oh, mama, I’m in love with drummer!

Happiness is for deserved only

We are responsible for our emotions and sufferings. Outside factors are visual and reason is inside. If suffering is unbearable then why you, victim, keep on being in that situation? Frankly answers depending on character would be:
- I afraid to quit because there could be even worse (cowardice)
- I would have to try very hard afterwards, if I quite (let I better remain that lazy and weak-willed as now)
- Somebody quitted and achieved nothing in the end (I’m lack of self-confidence, I love to inherit losers experience)
- I can’t: have no time, no opportunity, no talent, no health, no suitable age + 355 “no” (I’m just lazy and going to defend my laziness with thousands arguments)

Suffering, digging in our sadness and unhappiness gives us additional value in our eyes. It is so sweet to feel like a poor victim. Sympathize of surrounding is sweeter then honey.

Written above is related to the next situation: One person (attacker) enjoys turning into hell life of another person (victim). Victim never fights back, preferring keep distance, lose positions and support imaginative peace and respect. It makes victim feel very uncomfortable and unhappy. I don’t know how to help her.