The House mouse

A tiny animal has 6-9 centimeter long and 12 – 30 gram weight. A sexual dimorphism is a feebly marked. It is able to recognize light and darkness. The human fetus has the same properties on the 9-10 week of its life.

The house mouse makes majority human females scream in fear. The germ makes scream in fear human males. The females, in general, it makes cry and laugh without any reason, feel sleepy and hungry 24 hours a day, and often it gives continuous feeling as if you have drunk bottle of vodka mixed with bear without any snack food (who has never drunk it, just imagine acute food poisoning).

What's" Your Personality Type?

You Are An INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's" Your Personality Type?

P.S: The fun thing I make all the activities above, but how did they recognize?

The Hedgehog (Ejik)

Tanzen!! Verka Go, Go!

I was asked what I’m thinking about Verka Serdyuchka and EuroVision 2007, where she supposed to sing. I didn’t know anything about it as I have no TV, but was really pleased to hear this news. I found Andriy Danilko the greatest comic in Ukraine. I’m so tired with silicon dulls like Tina Karol and sweet homosexual Dima Bilan and the like. Without any doubts, EuroVision 2008 we will have in Kiev, because Verka Serduchka will break off whole Europe with her brilliant hit.
Couple of words about Andriy Danilko: he became famous in 1997 with image of boorish female conductor. His heroine has big boobs, speaks half Russian and half Ukranian, loves to drink and fight with passengers. Such type of service is so common in Russia and Ukraine that glory and public recognition made name of “Verka Serduchka” immortal. In 2003 Andriy Danilko presented his first album “Horosho”. Catchy melodies made of mix folk Ukrainian and techno and funny simple lyrics, reflecting our culture and mentality in ironical way made this album very popular. Playing his songs on weddings became national tradition.

By the way Andriy Danilko is not transvestite, nor homosexual. He has a girlfriend and quite handsome without scenic make-up.

Interesting fact is that half of Ukrainians hate Verka Serdjuchka and finds liking it as bad plebeian taste. Other half adore listening and dancing with Andriy Danilko (Should I mention, I’m in the second half :)).

A Super Hit for Eurovision from Andriy Danilko destroyed my brains and made me watch this video again and again. It is as shocking as always. It broke all possible formats for pop festival. You will not see there blondies with big red mouths, nor sweet handsome boys.

It broke politic ethics. Nazi-like dressed ballet dancers at the background and “Russia Goodbye!” repeating line will piss off countries with the most numerous audiences. All Verka appearance is great mockery at EuroVision pop festival. It is mockery at rule to sing in English, what makes good lyric sound cheap and crappy. It is mockery at attempts to make great show with the most handsome singer without any talent for singing.

The producer of Masyanya said “with such ass you will never become a pop star”. Verka will break this rule! The glamour star on Verka’s head broke my heart, she is definitely the best.

So, it’s better once to see and made own review, if it worth participating Eurovision. Enjoy!

One more Verka Serduchka stuff I loved. An alcoholic ukranian party clip. Just great and so much realistic! On the photo blog you may see picture, where I’m dancing while right this song is playing.

Muuuuah

How can you be so tender and loving?
I will never get it…

What a pleasure to bathe in the warm flow of your kindness.

Is it because you live in sunny country and absorbed its light, warmth and love?
Or it is because you are the greatest man in the world?

Does the life have sense if I can’t be with my caring angel, if I can’t give you anything?

I love you so purely!

I’m done with lyrics and now should follow 100 pure kisses. NO! Better only one the purest... but for 10 minutes!

Will I always be kissing with mirage?

2 Gusya bug

Yesterday, while eating catering, one of our Testers found a bug... in the soup. The bug was assigned to 2 Gusya catering service to fix.
I hope that they will not reproduce the bug again. So if you don’t want to be slightly overweighed, eat your catering carefully it contains a lot of proteins.

One of our Developers decided to fix this bug, before 2 Gusya’s response. PhotoFrog - what a pure attempt to cheat customer!

And last thing is creatiff, dedicated to testers and bugs:


Bon appetit!

Who is worse?

Yesterday I’ve had “luck” of dealing with state officials and state doctors. So much humiliation, aggression and rage I’ve experienced last time several years ago in our state educational institution only.

Officials

The only one idea comes to head, our country has well-organized campaign against its citizens.

Unfortunately, Tax inspection, Pension found and Regional Administration are places, which I have to visit often, as I’m Private Entrepreneur. Why not to make procedures easier?! In each of these authorities are hundred cabinets, every one works once or twice a week in the most possible inconvenient time.

Two types of people work as officials – grand slippery annoying men with running eyes. They have high rank and rich bribes. And fat, slow moving and thinking with big chemical nests on the heads women with acute menopause syndrome. They have poor bribes, chocolate usually, that’s why they are so fat. I hate giving bribes, hate flattering and ass-kissing, that’s why I know all procedures, last decrees and low changes and my papers are ideal. They hate my familiarity of the subject, a confidence that all proceedings are perfect, they hate my youth, high incomes and low taxes.

It would be much easier to play their rules, to bring candies, to congratulate them with some fest, to smile and tremble, to be more flexible for bending the back but I’m not looking for easy ways. And they “loose accidently” my checks and payment transactions, they force me to wait, to visit additional cabinets, they shout, they annoy greatly and finally submit everything and let me go.

Our government maintained system, which suppresses any initiatives and Private enterprise in very effective and organized way. Metallic nervous and strong boorishness resistance is a must if you want to survive among officials having a business.

Doctors

The main medicine in Ukraine is costless, like in former USSR. Commercial clinics are arising, but it is slow process and they oriented to the most profitable profile – stomatology, laser correction of vision and esthetic (plastic) surgery. Average official salary of doctor in here is 100-200 $. To survive in Kiev, you need 400 $ at least. The most complicated (7-11 years of studying), important, humane profession turned to miserable, lower-paid salaried. And it is quite hard to retrain from doctor to anybody else due to its specificity.

So, doctors have no choice as to ask for bribes. They don’t care about new discoveries, new technologies and who will care if he has no money for food and rent? People, who have serious troubles with health and have money, are trying to find recommended doctor and visit and reward him personally. There is no chance to find any normal medical service for pensioners, students and others insolvent categories, although it is officially costless and accessible. You may stay whole day long in queue near cabinet, but you will not be received, because “personal” patients go first.

If you were happy to enter cabinet, wait, until doctor will discuss last gossips with his assistance. Let me share one I’ve heard and remembered:

- Imagine, she has a 0.5 year baby and they visit sauna yet! Such a healthy beautiful little boy…
- Oh, really? New born in sauna??
- Yes, almost every day since birth they put him covered in sweating-room! I’ve heard, she is from Siberia and it is normal in there.
- Oh, of course, Siberians are very tempered…And what is his father?
- You will not believe, he is A-r-a-pp.
- Who?
- Arapp, Somewhere from the East, has business here, that’s why boy is black…
- Where she found him? Are there not enough normal men? Poor kid, they will mock him at school…

Don’t hesitate if you are naked and 5-10 unknown people of both sexes have glanced at cabinet to say pair words to doctor. Be ready to hear impression about previous patient and her illness – “She probably drug addicted, so thin and pale…did you see her terrible livid spots on the hands…such people usually live no longer 10 years…”.

Then they will ask your job (social status). Calculator in the head clicks, how much may be taken and then you will receive standard diagnose and recommendations. After all you’ll hear something like: “We need to buy a new diagnostic apparatus here in cabinet, but has no money”, “we need so much writing materials and they do not provide us” or just simple - “I expect for a little reward, he-he” – “would you give me 5-15 $?” (sum depends on your appearance, seriousness of disorder, job ect.)

You give and since this minute you are the best friends with the doctor and he may give you additional recommendations. You don’t give, and be ready to die soon.

Luckily, I’m very healthy and my medicine knowledge is enough for occasional indispositions. But in few cases, even if you are healthy, you need an obligatory registration in state clinic. In such bright and happy moment of my life, visiting it will remain the terriblest impression.

Now, I think, who is worse – the corrupted officials, making all possible barriers for business-makers, creators of new working places, instead of support and help? Or insensitive medical bribe takers, so called lofty humanists, giving no shit to patients and self developing?

Return

Too many events happened last time and I was too lazy to describe it. But it’s time to work now, so in short:

One our family friend got married. The day of wedding was the coldest this winter. The bride was very beautiful and a bit pregnant, groom was shocked and sad – this is a typical picture of Ukrainian wedding. Plus, lively tamada (toast-master) and Verka Serdjuchka’s songs set made this fest traditionally fun and entertaining. I danced till the drop, although hasn’t drunk any alcohol.

On the next day caught flu, several next days I don’t remember, and then there were a week of restoration in bed. The good thing is that I took a break from hateful work and had time to think. The bad thing was missed concert, wasted 3 months of repetitions and let down girls from ensemble.

Great changes are coming, all long term plans goes to hell. The carrier doesn’t important anymore and it hasn’t been that much important actually. So goodbye London, where I’ve never been, and IT industry, I will not miss you even for a second! The unachievable dance stars will always remain high up in the skies and there will be no chance to join their line. But I will have something much better, than fake short glory, shine spangles dresses and public admiration.

The last wish is a good careless vacation in the South and after it I’ll be ready to accept my new state.

On weekends I’ve had several dance classes. One teacher was sick, so I replaced her. Her learners were attached to their teacher very much and met me quite cold and skeptical. If earlier I would die of nervousness, this time I was calm like an elephant. Several moths’ experience of teaching formed ability to interact with any kind of audience. My own group treated me like a mother. They congratulated me with 8th of March and even gave a present, what was terribly embarrassing but very pleasant.

My honey experienced great shock, which made him sick physically and morally. Reason for it was my trick. It may become my last trick, but I have no regrets and very glad of myself. Moreover he gets better and almost humbled, I suspect, he is happy deep inside, somewhere very deep.

He-he, think twice before attaching to wild sly woman!